By Jude Thornberry

CW: mention of terms related to sexual abuse, homophobic slurs

The day my brother Sebastian was born I was traipsing around the University of Colorado pretending to be a student. I used to do that a lot and sometimes I would make a Grindr account to see how the scene was on campus. I didn’t have any nude pics of myself so I’d post one of me smiling like I was thrilled just to be invited. It wasn’t like I was a hot ticket or anything—I was a teenager, basically starving, and kind of cool but in a way that made me attractive to pedophiles and comp-sci majors. What I really wanted was to have my heart broken. Anyway I was walking around, trying to look studious, and then I  saw this kid Xuihtezcatl who I recognized from online. He was famous because he was suing the government for ignoring climate change. I asked him what he was doing and he said we’re joining this protest, you should come. Turns out some students were gathering in one of the courtyards to try and get the university to divest from fossil fuels. I was already interested in all that so I tagged along. One girl had a megaphone and she smiled, she said we’re happy to have the Earth Guardians with us. I felt great being seen as one of the Earth Guardians, in fact I felt real. I got to thinking about Sebastian and how his childhood would be much hotter than mine was. He’d learn English and German and maybe he’d be a faggot like me. Maybe he’d be able to avoid all the shame somehow. I felt really sad for a second but then Xiuhtezcatl started talking. He had long hair. He gave a shit about this world, and hearing
him talk was like ibuprofen.